New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
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