You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just to let you know its hard to talk to your father while being fingered up against a car..
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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