He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
In the last 3 months, I've slept with an ex,someone single, someone in a relationship, someone married, and someone divorced. I should get some type of grown up girl scouts badge.
"She's seriously grinding on him while whispering into his ear, 'take me to McDonald's.'"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
She took all the bottles out of the shower caddy and replaced them with booze. I just made a shower Manhatten. Imma marry this one.
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Randomize