Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I'm a simple man, with a social life most psychopaths would cringe at
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
I was just told by a cop that my party was the most epic party they ever crashed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Found my little brother jerking off with a condom. he said he was "practicing"
OMG its one we used last night
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
In the words of Disney’s Jafar, “desperate times call for desperate measures.”
Somehow, walking in on your drunk mom in a diaper was the least traumatic thing I saw last night
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