"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
DOES ANYONE KNOW THE NINJA TURTLES
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had the hottest doctor assess me at the hospital. He smelled like heaven and sex.
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
He fed me Girl Scout cookies while I was still tied up...what did I do right?
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
She never came back from the bathroom so I went to look for her... I was in my room and heard this rustling. And she was in my closet petting ties.
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