just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
Just figured out why my bed smells like weed: I just found a bowl in my pillow case?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
His flight was delayed by two hours though. I just got cock-blocked by clouds :(
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
Let the clothes fall where they may.
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