I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I accidentally gave my prayer card to the bouncer. Clearly a cry for help #saveme
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
You were so fucked you introduced me to a pile of Laundry
I wondered why I slept in the front room
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize