Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
we went from five shot glasses to three in one night. we lost 'badass' and gumbi, but the ninja turtle survived. courtney says to avoid any more casualties we're not allowed to use shot glasses past 1am. and we're not allowed to throw them
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh my god. A memory of last night just came to me. One of our neighbors joked about Thomas having a big dick and I just kept shaking my head profusely.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
After he finished, he fell on the floor and whispered "finally satisfied"
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