I cant remeber how long i've been laying here...it could be 10 minutes to a fucking day
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
I've been drunk in my life. But I've never been "crying in 5 Guys at 1 in the afternoon" drunk
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
I cancelled the entertainment for your b-day party.... Keep the bouncy castle just in case.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You FaceTimed me at three in the morning while you were peeing. Your eyes were glazed over and you showed me your bellybutton.
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
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