So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
That's why girls suck all the time. Blah blah nag nag drama drama buy me things but I won't touch your penis
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
The guy i fucked last week got done first on the test in my 900 person class. If im pregnant at least it will be smart.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
Can't. Way too high. Forgot how to operate doors. Stuck outside.Come get me.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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