So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
You kept running into the wall most of the night. When people asked you what you were doing you told them you were the kool-aid man and there was little kids on the other side of the wall who needed your juice
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
But she tried her best to break my penis, so she has a few free passes with me
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Does your drug dealer have a printer I can use??
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