Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
i mean i should have known that when i started taking shots with my zumba instructor i was in for a rough night...
where are you?
Hypothermia
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Welp, just took a tab of acid and cracked one of three bottles of champagne... Mondays ¯\\_(ツ)_/¯
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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