this is the second time this summer that a girl has called me a ken dol
you shouldn't let them see you without your pants on
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
Your one and only job is to make sure I am on that bus tomorrow morning with no cat makeup on my face
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
i woke up face planted on your ottoman..thanks for letting me sleepover
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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