You can't be mad at me for wanting to drink though, it is the reason we're engaged
you will always have a special place in my vag
I've used my house key more to do bumps of coke than I've used it to get in my house.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
We were in his kitchen and she turned to me with a straight face and an avocado in her hand and said "Can we steal this?"
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Trust me. My dick only does selfies for you.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
I am luring the porn star to my house with chicken!
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
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