why didn't you poke me back
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
I just took went to the bathroom and it smelt like blue curococo... I didn't flush yet so head on up if you wanna know what a good night smells like.
It starts with an S and ends with arah just gave me a bj.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Sounds good! I plan on writing a book entitled: I've Probably Done Cocaine In Your Bathroom. A tell-all by Lauren.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
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