The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
On a list of weird places to get a bj, how weird is in the basement of a pharmacy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
I just don't know the best way to tell him I think I saw him in a porn. I mean I got off to it, isn't there some level of awkwardness there?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
You fucked two dudes in the same night and still went home to your cats. How does that happen?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
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