Where is the hickey?
i love accidental penises.
He just turned on a sound machine. I need to get the fuck out of here.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
I'm pretty sure the guy she brought home is a polish porn star..
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why can't public transit accommodate my lifestyle of drinking til midnight on a Monday?
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
I'm her ex, so unless you're interested in her massive moral failings and open season vagina, I'm not your guy.
wait you like me?? for my personality??
I know I was surprised too
So... my daughter's new girlfriend Is the daughter of the girl I dated on and off in college Who ran away because she got pregnant at my house party. My Legitimate daughter Is probably fucking my Illegitimate daughter...
Randomize