BEES IN MY FUCKING PANTS. HELP.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
There are so many things that would come back to haunt me if I ran for President someday.
like that video of you mad stoned vomiting in the bdubs parking lot after going to a pizza buffet screaming how you needed to make room for froyo
Wat
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
please tell dad to clear the porn off his tablet before he lends it to anyone from now on
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize