first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
It's shark week go big or go home
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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