I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think she hates me because I thought her roommate's name actually was Butterface?
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
i can't believe he threw up on you. Well thats what you get for being DD. I used the sombreros as a shield!
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No sex in the champagne room. The champagne room being my life
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
I drank so much that my feet don't feel like my feet
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Randomize