at some point when you're making out with the ex girlfriend of your ex fuck buddy who happens to be the ex boyfriend of the girl that you just got drunk with who was hitting on your current fuck buddy who is best friends with your ex boyfriend, it just hits you: oh my god i need to get out more and expand my social circle.
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
He gave me a 420 gift that consisted of a dime bag, a philly cheesestake, and a Pepsi that was still cold. If he ever wants a free bj, I got him.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize