Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Margaritas ran out of lime juice. Substituted Jaeger. Jaegerita not good.
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
I've got my laundry in the car, tonights 1 night stand pre-req is an in suite washer and dryer. Let's do this!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i swear, as soon as they invent a cure for herpes, he's mine.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
and it seems i've caught your masturbating bug. thanks.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
"If it gets you high just do it" I told him he was the Nike of drug abuse
I don't think you should be sorry for such memorable sex that I yell your name when you aren't around.
Naked snow angels was a very bad idea. My vag is now frozen shut.
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
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