Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
seriously, i am too high for the omelet station to be playing Being For The Benefit Of Mr Kite at 7am
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Found a grenade pin. Still no Dave.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
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