I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
Why the fuck do they always fuck on couches in porn?
Don't ever text me while you're jacking off. EVER.
Fuck appropriateness.
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
There are parrots here and they're headbanging to the music. There's also a clown and a pit bull that can jump onto tables. Too high for this shit.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
People were running around punching out the ceiling tiles Super Mario style.
I just sang Hey Jude with a homeless man and then we drank beer together. Then I watched asians take pictures under a xmas tree for an hour and fell asleep in an MGM Grand bathroom stall. #AloneinVegas
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
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