Was i wearing a white blazer when you superpoke danced me??
so that wasnt chicken after all
Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, you disappeared somewhere on the walk back and shortly after we got a call from your cell phone from this guy explaining that him and his roommates woke up to the smell of burning pizza and a naked stranger on their couch.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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