No one appreciates an amoeba in a balloon hat.
Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Only you would have a vasectomy while you're awake and report on the soundtrack first
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
You ever fart so hard it made you cum a little? A "friend of mine" wanted to know.
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