are you still at the devil's house?
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I'm at work, and just realized I the beer smell I keep getting random whiffs of is my bra. I fail at life.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sent me a snap chat of his naked torso with cookies over his nipples. Like.... that does not make me want you homeboy.
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
This girl just said she was late for class because she was having sex.
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
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