Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Just like to put it out there it's surprising how little reception a dog cage has
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
you're hired as official boob wrangler
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
There way too many people in that club who have had their dick in me
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