you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
the nurse was shocked when I handed her a cup of green piss. what did she expect giving me a drug test on st. patty's day?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NEW RULE: can't hook up with more than 50% of the groomsmen in wedding party or it becomes wrong kind of weird. NUMBERS GAME.
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
your sister totally cock blocked me last night don't even think about inviting her to taco night
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
Yea he was still drunk. He wore a Toga to his job interview.
You make me want to do things that I'm pretty sure are illegal.
Randomize