It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I sent him a topless photo and he complimented my eyes. I'm not sure if I'm offended or pleasantly surprised.
Damn. Looks like nobody I know is doing anything interesting. Guess it's another slut-it-up-with-strangers sort of night.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize