What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
I woke up this morning to the buzzer on my oven going off... I cooked fish sticks at 425 degrees for 5 hours last night. my house smells awesome
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up in 100% not my clothes this morning. Third time this month. Fuck. Tequila.
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Faking my way through an entire party as a British exchange student. Wish me luck.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I woke up with the gnarliest cold/hangover combo
Thats what u get when u have butt ass naked rooftop sex at night in december
Worth it.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
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