Eating a burrito bowl w/ queso sauce is about as cool as the first time you have sex w/ out a condom
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
if i were to get pulled over right now, the only thing i would be guilty of is listening to 90's Mariah Carey
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
the tile , carpet , walls , cabinets , even the ceiling ... there is Jello everywhere
it was your idea to have indoor Jello wrestling man
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Ok now a guy in a winnie the pooh costume is grinding on some chick to the song shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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