Not only did I see you last night, you had me help you meet women by convincing them you were deaf and only I understood your sign language
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
He picked me up for our 1st date and saw my roommate crying on the floor Fabreesing her vagina...
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Nope, can't do it. It's a snowball effect. Today, leggings as pants. Tomorrow, female hitler. Natural progression.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize