how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
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you almost dropped the shot glass then you thought you were such a hard ass for catching it that you slammed it on the table and broke it
There was a dismembered bleeding penis in my dream last night. That's some serious Freudian shit.
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
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Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
If you bring home Chipotle tonight I'll give you an epic bj...ball play and all #datenight
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
I just told my mormon professor that I was late because I was getting a STD test... good start to the day.
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
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