its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
I mean honestly, I love naps like Anthony Weiner loves sending dick pics
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like my body was put in a dryer with rocks set on permanent press.
Don't be alarmed by all the Dick cakes in the fridge. But please don't eat..i accidentally broke one in half you guys can eat that one. Its labeled free Dick
Every time you mention the threesome around him I will high five you. Do what you will with this information.
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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