He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I feel like there is something fundamentally wrong with me as a woman. My initial text to you was "What's up, fuck bucket?"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize