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i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I hope mine doesn't look like that
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
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