Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
If we both stop thinking about your penis for just a moment, we'd realize it is important and good that you are spending quality time with your family
seriously considering responding to a craigslist ad for a lesbian cunninlingus instructor...at this point i'm so desperate for a job that i'm willing to switch teams.
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
my favorite part was when you kept waving @ that guy and insisiting it was your cousin..and it wasnt and wondering why he wasnt waving back lol you were legit PISSED
Randomize