their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
i love rice pilaf. whoever invented that i would give them a hug.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
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I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
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I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
Everyone thinks it's an okay idea now until I'm overdoing it on the vodka/clubs, dancing on a table, trying to make out with the groom.
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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