I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
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