Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The woman at the bus stop told me i smell delicious and asked if i wear cotton then proceeded to tell me about her shellfish allergy
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I knew things were bad when I walked in on you feeding juice to your iPhone
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Jesus Christ. How the fuck do you not tell someone that your wife can see on the phone bill who you text and how many times ?
Just rode a bull topless for a free bar tap for a month
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
Randomize