I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
How do you tell someone they are only invited if they put out?
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
God I love babysitting. They pay me $10 an hour to watch movies and sext
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
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