I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
He pointed at me, then leaned in and said "shes the best at blow jobs" then chris fist pumped him and said "dude, I know"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Got stuck at my fwb place for three days because I decided sex was more important than my safety in the weather. Worth it.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Its okay I found my bra. ...it was on your cat. I wont ask questions.
I don't have a cat..?
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
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