You're perfectly engineered for doggy style
Stuck behind a lady in her 70's purchasing a plastic handle of vodka and nothing else. She is writing a check. Hello future.
I woke up face down on my laptop with three windows open: itunes, chat roulette and redtube
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
And he's back on taking these stupid testosterone supplements to kickstart him back into working out. And they just make him angry and horny all the time. I'm like great, just in time to meet my whole family for Christmas.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
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