did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
An accidental pregnancy to a guy with a trustfund is no mistake. It is a gift from god.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
we left the music on while we were fucking. some kanye west song started playing and he started to cry
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
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