i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
party gras won. party gras always wins.
I was puzzled last night that there were shots waiting for us when we got there. Just read my messages and saw you were ordering from the bar via texts.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I just saw a douchebag with frosted tips & a LaCoste polo with popped collar driving a Call of Duty edition Jeep. It was a cavalcade of stereotypes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
And my cousin was so drunk he called an uber and instead he got into a cop car and they took him to the hospital
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Randomize