How was your Memorial Day?
Don't remember... but I do have an American flag painted on my boob signed by a Staff Sargent... Oh God, I hope that's his military rank and not a nick name.
ask me if i forgot to go to a midterm today
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
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its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I had the most traumatic dream I've ever had just now. I ripped my dick off because a girl asked me to and spent the rest of the dream crying about my dick
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
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