please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
Well, I'm eating cake, watching wedding videos of people I don't know, and crying. Clearly I'm a vision of mental health today
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
I called to inform you I may or may not be getting laid tonight ...
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
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