who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
Saying he's good in bed would be like saying Soulja Boy is a good rapper, completely unlogical if you've heard him.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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