Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
Oh damn it. Let me get a beer. I can't take anymore bad news. Hold on.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
she's my really slutty friend i bring around so i can act slutty and not feel as bad about it
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
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